Regrets

I wish I could be there to hold your hand.

I wish we could finally go and see that band.

And I’m sorry we didn’t,

And I know you tried.

But here I am,

Stuck on the other side.

 

The Howling.

The Void.

Some call it Hell.

They separate us now.

All because I fell.

 

And honestly I don’t know if it’s not just me,

Even with my family.

I’m so alone, here in this place.

I just wish I could see your face.

To hear that sentence,

Finally end.

And know that we don’t have to pretend.

 

That our hands find each other with conscious thought.

That we wouldn’t forgive each other when we fought.

That we didn’t yearn for even more,

Our hearts and brains in a silent war.

 

I wish for those days of not-so ignorant bliss.

All of those, “we almost kissed.”

But they are gone, that’s what you said.

And now we don’t have to pretend.

 

We know how that sentence was going to end.

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As I Lay Dying

As I lay dying,

I stared at him.

His Mother’s eyes;

Everything else was Him.

 

I begged him to collect my tears.

I showed him my deepest Fears.

So that he would know

And understand,

The part I played

In the End.

 

I only hoped that when I died;

By a Master’s will defied,

That he would know what I did,

Was Always, always, for him.

Goodbye, My Friend: Sherlock

Sherlock:

 

I pressed the cell phone to my ear,

Trying hard to fight my fear.

I lied and lied through my teeth,

To protect you from a bullet near.

 

My heart is pounding, though I don’t know why.

It’s taking all I can do to try,

To just hang up and step off the ledge,

To risk my life so that you may live.

 

The phone call ended.

This is it.

I close my eyes and said goodbye,

Hoping that this plan would work.

 

And if it does, then here I go,

As I fall forward to the ground below.

 

October 27th, 2015.Goodbye, My FriendGoodbye, My Friend

Goodbye, My Friend: John

John:

 

I watched as you

Stood there still.

I was scared for you once again.

Scared as I would lose my friend.

 

Your coat flowing with the wind,

As you looked down and faked a grin.

I could see your pain,

As it mirrored mine.

 

I hoped everything would work out,

That we would both be fine.

 

But then you hung up

And gazed down.

Your fear so clear.

Your death so near.

 

You had said goodbye,

And now was time.

 

Falling forward too fast to catch.

Your arms extended as if to stretch.

And down you went, as you fell.

And then my best friend,

Was dead.

 

October 27th, 2015.

Past

The past is another place,

It’s history, not today.

The day she was taken,

So cruelly torn away.

 

Her heart was broken,

Yours times two.

But she didn’t give up,

Kept searching for you.

 

Doing the impossible.

Proving you wrong.

But soon, you knew,

Was the ending of your song.

 

You sent her away,

From that time and place.

You sent her away,

Into another’s embrace.

 

Now your both broken,

Because of words that were never spoken.

And there she is,

Across the divide.

 

But never again to coincide.

 

So now you wander,

These empty halls.

The silence echoing,

As your footsteps fall.

 

Hoping.

 

For one more smile.

One more laugh.

But not in the future,

But soon in your past.

 

June 17th, 2015

My Home Is With You

A home is not

Just a place to rest your head.

It’s not just a place

With four walls and a bed.

 

Carpets and lamps.

Bathrooms and sinks.

Furnishings and tellys,

That stuff doesn’t matter.

 

Home is a place,

That’s safe and warm.

Home is a space,

Where you protected from harm.

Where your memories are strong,

For better or worse.

Where your never alone,

Physically or else.

 

Where your dreams take you,

In the middle of the night.

But nightmares can’t touch,

Your haven of warmth.

 

Your home could be

A cardboard box.

A simple chair.

A favorite blanket.

 

Some never know, where to look.

For their home.

 

They search a life time,

Far and wide.

I’m glad I wasn’t them.

 

Nineteen years

Is all I waited.

For my home

To appear.

 

It never came in the form I expected.

 

Four walls and floors.

Beds and ceilings.

Domestics and Earth.

And traded it willingly.

 

For a sentient ship who talks in my mind.

For a never ending adventure,

Through space and time.

For a unique life,

Of danger and strife.

For a madman,

In a box.

 

But none of those things matter.

What matters is home.

My home.

Despite what you might think.

 

Not the Powell Estate.

Not an alien planet.

Not even the TARDIS,

Though she is my second choice.

 

My home is with a madman.

A wonderful man.

The Time Lord Victorious.

The Oncoming Storm.

Their just titles.

 

The Bad Wolf.

The Abomination.

See,

The same.

 

My home is with him.

Running side by side.

Hand in hand.

In our box.

 

My Doctor.

My Home,

Is in your arms.

That are never ever,

Very far.

His Companions

We wouldn’t change it

For the world.

For on that fateful day.

That day you took us by the hand

And together,

We ran.

 

Young or old.

Blonde or ginger.

You never specified.

A certain preference,

Even though,

She had caught your eye.

 

Blond hair.

Pink and yellow,

One that rivaled the sun.

The promise of forever

And never ever,

Letting go.

 

Then there was her.

The one who wanted more.

She asked, but you couldn’t,

You swore.

So she gave up and held your hand,

And stood there by your side.

 

Next a ginger,

Though it wasn’t you.

She slapped you many times.

She said, “Oi!,

You idiot time boy.”

And “Take me to the church!”

 

Fish fingers and custard.

A man in a box.

Fourteen years couldn’t split us up.

The Raggedy Man.

The Girl Who Waited.

The best of friends.

 

The Dalek Asylum.

Victorian London.

WiFi gone wild,

She was there.

Brave and ready,

The Impossible Girl.

 

All of them,

Wise and strong.

Faithful til the end.

Some had left by choice.

Some didn’t know.

But only one was ripped away,

So cruelly,

By the world.

Torn from their time and space,

And into Pete’s World.

 

Bad Wolf.

The Girl Who Walked the Earth.

The Most Important Woman in The World.

The Girl Who Waited,

But waits no more.

And the Impossible Girl.

 

His Love.

His Companions.

The ones who help him stop.

His friends,

His hand to hold,

No matter where they go.

 

They will all be with him until the end.

The ending of his song.

With You

With You

January 6, 2015

 

I thought we had forever.

But I guess that wasn’t true.

And I will never trade,

The time I’ve spent with you.

 

The times when your hand

Was clasped firmly in mine.

Laughing at the Apple grass,

Watching cars flying by.

 

Laughing at your jokes

That came out when you spoke.

The never ending fountain,

Of knowledge to impart.

 

And running.

 

Running so fast it’s hard to breathe.

Running so hard I can’t feel my feet.

Flying down streets and foreign corridors.

Heart pounding,

And head screaming for more.

 

But knowing no matter what,

When I reached the end.

I wouldn’t have to look back for you,

My friend.

 

You’d be by my side the whole time.

Laughing, your feet pounding in time with mine.

But for now I will have to let go.

And this isn’t forever I know.

 

No matter what it takes.

How many times my heart breaks.

Just know.

I will never let you go.